How I Found Healing From Fear and Hurt

How I Found Healing From Fear and Hurt

Back in June, someone posted a threat towards me on my Facebook wall. Not only a threat but this person added in extra terrible nasty words that made me sick such as calling me horrible names, saying hateful words, that – didn’t want to see my face anymore, and that – didn’t care if I got hurt. Note that I’ve met – in person only once and throughout this post I’ll be using a hyphen because I of course do not want to reveal this person’s name. Only a very little amount of people who are close to me know about what happened on that low point in my life. – post brought me to a dark place, to a place where my thoughts were running wild, keeping me awake at night. I’m open to share the long full story with you if you asked me to in person because I believe it can help you whether or not you’ve experienced something similar.
I dealt with a lot that week. How I handled the threat parts towards me is something I don’t want to further discuss in this post, but if you wanted to know, I’d be fine with sharing the process I had to go through with you in person. Dealing with the scary threat was more difficult than dealing with the hurtful labeling and whatnot. I don’t care who you are, things like that are disgusting and not acceptable to say to anyone in the face or typing it from behind a screen.
President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times best-selling author of Uninvited and 19 other books, Lysa TerKeurst said in The Today Show, “Don’t bash, hash, or trash on social media because the Internet never forgets and make sure that we don’t invite public opinion into our very private pain.” Since what happened to me was through the Internet, I thought this quote was very appropriate. HURTING PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE, but you know what? HEALED PEOPLE HEAL PEOPLE.
I forgot how much time passed but, – post was removed and Facebook also removed – account. Before and after it was up, I never lashed back out to -. I would never stoop down to – level but rather lift – up. Fighting back wouldn’t solve anything. If I ever had a chance to speak to – again, I wouldn’t attack – with, “How could you say those things to me?” or something like, “You’re trash *and then continue on saying more damaging things from there*” The approach I would take would be to better understand – situation, starting out by not ignoring what – said to me, but do address it by saying, “What you said to me on Facebook back in June really did disturb me and was not okay by any means, but I’ve decided to not let what you said to me take over my life and be a rainy cloud over me because I don’t want to live the rest of my life frightened and hurt. I want to live healed and because I am, I want to bring healing to you too. I forgive you for what you posted on my wall.” Then I would go on to better understanding – situation by asking, “What did I do to you that was so wrong and made you upset?” and “How could we settle this?” and “What’s going on in your life that you would like me to know about?” and “How can I help or pray for you?”

I know that God honors how I handled everything because I am being obedient to His Word. In Romans 12:17-21, Paul said, repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. “Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Note that on that night when I found out about – post, of course I went to God in prayer first, but another thing that was essential to me was talking it out with someone accountable. For me that was my parents and my roommate. Just showing them the screenshot made me uncomfortable but talking to them helped me a ton.

Friends, I don’t know the answer to why God allows what myself and others may call bad things to happen in our lives, but as hard as it is to process and see God in it, those bad things can be caused so that God’s power can be manifested to us, bring glory and honor to His name, bring us closer to him, and remind us that He is in control. His will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Walk in the promise that you are never alone. Through the storm He is Lord and He is with you always. I hope you never have to go through what I went through. Ever.

Another verse that has helped me when things are falling apart is Proverbs 3:5-6 -> Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. I noticed how paths is plural. God won’t just direct you in one path, but in every path you will take in your life! Sometimes the Lord will cause something to happen that you won’t understand at the time but someday you will know.

X O , 

T I N A

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Day Two of My San Diego Vacation

Day Two of My San Diego Vacation

8.16.16 {Tuesday}

Perry’s Cafe: 4610 Pacific Highway, San Diego, California 92110 

I stopped at Perry’s Cafe to fuel myself with the most important meal of the day… BREAKFAST! I sat on my seat as I looked down at my Spanish omelet which was a plain omelette topped with ranchero sauce. *Note that I took a bite before this thought* I thought to myself, is it worth it to take a picture of this dish? My answer I said back to myself was no. I’m sorry that it wasn’t anything special. I also ordered a blueberry muffin which was included in the meal. I thought it was unusual how their blueberry muffin was rectangle shaped. I think it was homemade, but again, it was weird because I’ve never seen a rectangle shaped muffin in my life until then haha 

After I ate, I entered into a different world… SEA WORLD of San Diego! 

Sea World: 500 Sea World Dr, San Diego, CA 92109

I started off my adventure with the Dolphin Days show! In all the shows I went to, including this one, I was blown away by how intelligent the featured animals were. A lady with a ukulele came out to kick off the show by singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” It was kinda cheesy but did set off positive vibes. You bet that I was smiling, looking around, and singing along whilst my sisters had on a straight face haha

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Pilot whales crashed the party

   

Shark encounter reminded me of how much I missed watching Shark Week

The tunnel was so cool and I was not scared at all! I told one of my sisters to take a few pictures of me in there but they all came out crappy mainly because of the lighting

Pets Rule was the second show we watched. If someone were to train my cat Midnight like the cats in this show, then w o w that would be a miracle 

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On set
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Birds
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Why did the duck cross the road?
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ha HOT DOG
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Here piggy piggy
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Kangaroos
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Reserved for pets side aaand oh look there’s a cat that’s about to walk the tightrope!

Wild Arctic was pretty chilly duh but I wasn’t complaining. It was a perfect way to cool off from the heat outdoors

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Chillin’ with Mr. Beluga Whale
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Less than a minute and he abandoned me. I thought we were friends

Oh, hey there, new friend. Best friend.

The week before I left to San Diego, I saw pictures on Instagram of girls in a room petting penguins and I was so excited about that haha. Unfortunately when it came to Penguin Encounter, I did not have the opportunity to pet a penguin *sigh*

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much fog and cold
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Outdoor penguins!

I forgot which aquarium I saw these fish at 

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I also forgot where I saw this little guy at. Oops

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The next show I watched was Sea Lions LIVE. You have to watch the show to understand when I say this show was brilliant

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On set
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how stinkin’ cute is this baby sea lion!
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Incredible trick I witnessed that this one did with a “coconut” on top of his little nose

I think everyone should have the joy Candice had when she pet a whole bunch of manta rays

The final show I enjoyed (even though it was the only show where I had to sit on bleachers that didn’t have any shade whatsoever) was One Ocean. I must say that One Ocean was a KILLER show haha

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I don’t think I’ll ever know what it’s like to be a part of the wet zone. I’ve never fancied or dared sitting there for some reason

Wrapping up my time at Sea World, I hit up all the aquariums that I haven’t been to: Aquaria World of Fishes and Aquarium de la Mer

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here’s a sleeping octopus for ya
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Goodbye Sea World! I think the next time I’ll see you is when I have a kid or kids and I’ll have him, her, or them with me haha. My future husband will also be with us. God bless my future husband

Exiting Sea World, I returned to the world I was in before. Starving, thirsty, SO ready for dinner… Phil’s BBQ was a must

Phil’s BBQ: 3750 Sports Arena Blvd, San Diego, CA 92110

Ribs are my favorite when it comes to BBQ so ordering lots of baby back ribs was a must. For side orders, we chose cole slaw and macaroni salad. Ashley doesn’t like ribs, so she ordered a chick-less tickler (isn’t that a funny name? haha) which was chunks of white meat chicken seasoned and BBQ’d. For sides, she decided on two onion rings and fresh cut fries. She let me eat her leftovers and they were amazing ugh

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Phil’s BBQ has sparkling water!

Stay tuned for Day Three of My San Diego Vacation!

X O , 

T I N A

p.s: I chose this color to sign off because it reminds me of yummy BBQ sauce haha I make myself laugh sometimes

 

Day One of My San Diego Vacation

Day One of My San Diego Vacation

8.15.16 {Monday}

The song “Manic Monday” by The Bangles was playing in my mind as we were rushing out the door at 10 AM. Dad planned the day before to leave for San Diego at 8 AM. It was one of those hectic mornings with a frustrated dad trying to fix his broken zipper on his one and only duffel bag, feeding the cats, tidying up, hiding my clean unfolded laundry underneath my blanket on my bed, and making sure we didn’t forget anything. But in the midst of all the chaos, we had something to look forward to that kept us driven… something rewarding in store for us.

It was the first vacation I’ve been on without mom. That week was the only week dad could take off from work. Mom had to stay behind because she had to take her dad to chemo. Please keep mom and grandpa in your prayers. Of course vacation was different without her and she was missed, but we still had fun because we knew that’s what she wanted us to do… have fun even if it meant having an enjoyable time without her.

Around 11:30 AM, we were on the streets on Oceanside. Dad parked the car and we walked in the Ocean breeze to Beach Break Cafe.

Beach Break Cafe: 1802 S Coast Hwy, Oceanside, CA 92054

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waited for about fifteen minutes to be seated
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our table
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I ordered corned beef hash, coffee cake, and shared Cajun fries

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Jasmine and I

 

Our next stop was Caffe Vacanza!

Caffe Vacanza: 1580 Cannon Rd, Carlsbad, CA 92008

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Cute little outdoor coffee shop with a very kind barista
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Jasmine modeled in the seating area as she waited for her frappe
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I ordered just a plain ole iced coffee

Caffe Vacanza proudly serves Illy Coffee which is Italian Coffee

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After our coffee run, we checked into our hotel. To our surprise, they so kindly gave us an upgrade! Our room had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was just what a dad and his four daughters needed haha

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Ashley resting on the top of the bunk bed. The rain forest wallpaper was really cool but it reminded me of a pediatric or dentist room.

There were beaches like five minutes away from our hotel. We drove up there to catch the sunset and boy was it breathtaking.

Carlsbad State Beach: 7201 Carlsbad Blvd, Carlsbad, CA 92008

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Stairs leading to high tide

For dinner, we went to an Indian Cuisine that was located in a food court area

Punjabi Tandoor: 5812 Van Allen Way, Carlsbad, CA 92008

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looking at the menu from outside
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Ash and I looked down and we saw that there was still sand on our feet and on our sandals haha. That’s how we knew we had a great night.
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I ordered the dinner combination #2 with rice, chicken Tikka Masala, and nan. The meal also came with a little rice pudding dessert.

We took our food to-go and called it a night.

Outfit of the Day

Aviator sunglasses: Juicy Couture

Bralette: Forever 21 Latest Forever 21 Online Purchase

“OK, BUT FIRST COFFEE” shirt: French Pastry from Ross

Shorts: Pripe from Ross

Shoes: Mossimo Supply Co. from Target

X O , 

T I N A

 

 

 

 

 

The Estée Edit VoxBox Review

The Estée Edit VoxBox Review

Thanks to Influenster and The Estée Edit, I received the following products complimentary for testing purposes.

How the VoxBox looks is pictured below. If you see closely, you can spot a picture of Kendall Jenner and Irene Kim!

I’ve been using these products for about a month now:

  1. BEAM TEAM hydrate + glow

 

 

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you will find the glow/highlighter part of beam team when you lift up the lid on the cap

These are the swatches under different lighting. The swatch closest to my wrist is the glow/highlighter. The one on top of my hand is of the hydrate/moisturizer part of beam team.

I apply ‘hydrate’ after I put on primer and before I put on foundation. I also think that it would look lovely by itself on the face or when it’s mixed into foundation, BB cream, or CC cream. The moisturizer was not as hydrating as I hoped it would be. It barely moisturized. The glow that it gave my face was nice and natural looking though! 

I use ‘glow’ as a highlighter. It’s pretty, but I’m gonna have to save it for the wintertime because my face is less oily during that season. You see, this highlighter has a creamy consistency; therefore, it doesn’t work well when my face tends to become oily a lot.

Find BEAM TEAM hydrate + glow here -> http://www.sephora.com/beam-team-hydrate-glow-P406600?icid2=estee_edit_spotlight_2_beam_image&skuId=1802925

2. FLASH ILLUMINATOR in the shade “night light”

 

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A little bit goes a long way. Like, trust me… Even this is considered a lot to me

Here are swatches once it’s blended out!

In no way do I use the “night light” flash illuminator as an illuminator. The shade is wayyy too dark for me. Instead, I use it as a liquid bronzer! The payoff was super gorgeous, I just had to make it work out on me somehow! Just like the ‘glow’ part to Beam Team, I’m gonna have to save this one for use during the wintertime because of the consistency. 

Find FLASH ILLUMINATOR in the shade “night light” here -> http://www.sephora.com/flash-illuminator-P406012?skuId=1801299

3. PORE VANISHING STICK

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I use this product as a primer. It’s a nice base to put my foundation over and it does its job in terms of keeping the oil on my face under control. It didn’t really benefit me when it came to my pores though. My pores looked just the same as they were before the application. There was no WOW factor for my pores and that was disappointing to me.

Find PORE VANISHING STICK here -> http://www.sephora.com/pore-vanishing-stick-P406534?skuId=1802917&icid2=estee_edit_guest_editor_picks_carousel:p406534

4. THE BAREST LIP COLOR in the shade “nude scene” #06

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This lipstick is my favorite thing from The Estée Edit VoxBox! The last time I wore it was this Sunday. I meant to take a selfie so that you can see how it looks on my lips, plus take another selfie after I eat or/and drink something with the lipstick on so that you can see how it looks afterwards and how it holds up transfer-wise. I am so sorry that I forgot to take the selfies. If you want me to do a separate blog post solely dedicated to this lipstick, let me know by commenting below! Otherwise, I’m going to have to describe this lipstick in words minus selfies. 

The color is incredible. It really holds up to its name ‘the barest lip color’ because it appears dark, but with one layer on the lips, it’s like a sheer dark wine color (if that makes any sense). It’s totally build-able and will be as dark as you want it with more layers. 

After I ate a meal and drank some tea, some of the product did come off, but it didn’t leave my lips looking terrible. Have you ever had most of your lipstick come off of your lips after eating or/and drinking and the result was that your lips looked like you only outlined your lips with lip liner and the rest of your lips was just your natural lip color? Well, yeah… this lipstick didn’t do that and I’m soooo grateful. 

It is moisturizing, but I still apply chap-stick before I put on the lipstick.  

Find THE BAREST LIP COLOR in the shade “nude scene” #06 here -> http://www.sephora.com/the-barest-lip-color-P406018?skuId=1799931&icid2=estee_edit_barest_carousel:p406018

What I’m about to talk about next has nothing to do with The Estée Edit, but all about The Olympics! WOW I can’t believe it’s been FOUR YEARS since London. If you watched the Opening Ceremony last night, you know what I’m talking about when I say that it was breathtaking! Rio is a great host. I felt like I was waiting for USA in the Parade of Nations for like forever haha. I was like, USA, appear on my tv already haha! 

I saw a commercial that NBC is having a summer giveaway! Every time USA wins gold, you could win $400! Enter daily. Winners will be announced after The Olympics. Good luck and CHEERS TO TEAM USA! Here’s the link to enter -> nbcla.com/400

X O , 

T I N A

 

 

 

 

Hello, I am…

Hello, I am…

Tina!

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My first name T I N A came from momma. She told me that when she first came to America, she met a girl called Tina and liked the name. My middle name R E B E C C A came from dad. Fun fact: my siblings and I all have middle names from the Bible! Mine’s is the only one that’s spelled differently though haha. Its spelled “Rebekah” in the Bible. My last name… I’m carrying the K O name. I’ve gotten comments about my last name such as, “knock out,” “K, o, that’s it?,” “Ko, like as in Co. for company?,” or “Ko… That’s a cool last name!” There’s also last names spelled Koh and Coe that are pronounced in the same way as my last name. 

  • Age: 20 years old
  • Birthday: November 24th
  • I am Asian American
  • Half Chinese (dad’s side)
  • Half Laotian (mom’s side)
  • Born and raised in glamorous Southern California 
  • Height: 5′ 3”

Unfortunately I do not speak Chinese or Lao. I only speak English and I am learning Spanish.

I am the oldest of three sisters. Yesss I have NO BROTHERS. The boy in the pic below is Tyler (our cousin from UT).

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Jasmine

Our mom and dad are pictured below

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I have two indoor cats and two indoor turtles

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Pebbles & Penelope

My favorite color is blue.

My favorite foods are Japanese food and Mexican food.

My favorite places to eat at are Chick-fil-a, In-n-Out, Chipotle, BC Cafe, Cracker Barrel, Le Pain Quotidien, Tokyo Lobby, El Tepeyac, Sanamluang, and The Cheesecake Factory.

My favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas, but if I only had to choose one, it would have to be Christmas.

My favorite season is Autumn.

My favorite movie is Les Misérables.

My favorite tv shows are The Walking Dead, Fixer Uppers, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Duck Dynasty, America’s Got Talent, and Beauty & The Beast.

I watch The Food Network super late at night, and it’s bad. I don’t know why I do it to myself haha

I laugh and cry at almost all of The Skit Guys videos.

I la la love dessert.

Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, apple cider, orange juice, and water are my fave drinks.

I’m a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball fan and a Golden State Warriors basketball fan! I’m not really into football, but sometimes I’ll watch the Seattle Seahawks because I like Russel Wilson.

I think my handwriting is pretty.

I I enjoy baking! My favorite treat to bake would probably have to be cupcakes because of the look of the cute cups that the cakes go in, plus decorating the cakes with frosting and toppings is fun and gives a nice finishing touch.

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lemon cupcakes topped with blueberries

I enjoy road-tripping! My favorite places to go to are Northern California and Utah. They’re special places mostly because I have family there! In the States, I also have family in Texas, but I haven’t been there. I would like to, but my immediate family and I are not planning to visit anytime soon. Outside of the States, I have family in Canada! That’s a place my immediate family and I are actually planning to visit probably next year! I’m stoked about it because dad says we can stop in Seattle, Washington along the way and once we hit Canada, I’ll be one joyous gal because I’ve never been outside of America before! 

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Golden Gate Bridge | San Francisco, CA
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Watching the boys surf at Fort Point | San Francisco, CA
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Temple Square | Salt Lake City, UT

I love crawfishing! My cousins Gum, Set, and Ty taught me how to fish for crawdads. I bought my first fishing license the last time I was at UT.

I enjoy hiking! Walking the trail can’t be that bad when I’m doing it with the ones I love, I’m breathing in fresh air, and I have a certain destination to look forward to. It’s a refreshing way to be away from all the craziness of life for a moment. 

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Ready to start hiking!

 

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I hiked in flip-flops! Yikes
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Our destination for this hike was Cecret Lake

I enjoy singing! I was a member of three children’s choirs at church when I was a little girl. I like to think that I sing lovely haha. But in all seriousness, I can’t sing… Not really

I enjoy taking pictures! I took photography class in high school. I didn’t go on to be a professional though haha

I enjoy reading! The books I am currently reading are The Bible and Lee Strobel’s The Case for Christ

Of course, I enjoy blogging + going on social media

I am a full-time student at Azusa Pacific University. I’m on summer break at the moment, but when I return around the end of this month, I’ll be back to being a full-time student. I was a student at Mt. SAC for two years before I transferred to APU. My major is Liberal Studies. My dream is to be an elementary school teacher! My preference is K-3, but this program is preparing me to teach K-8. I’ll take a job offer to be a teacher for K-6, even if it’s not with my preference grade. I’ll take a job offer to be a substitute teacher for 7th and 8th grade. As long as I’m working with kids, I’ll have a blast!

My roommates are pictured below. We live in an apartment together

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Before I end this post, I want to share with you that although I grew up in a Christian home, I’ve been a Christian for about seven years. Accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior + entering into a relationship with Him was the best decision I’ve ever made. God is number one in my life. He’s the center of it all and it’s beautiful.

X O , 

T I N A